gallery/fruits_2
gallery/fruits

Holy Shit Look At All This Fruit

gallery/pict1

Orange

 

You know I just... I just really love oranges, man. I never thought about it until I sat down and started writing this. They're just... so good, man. I even have my own orange peeler. It's not very good though, and I lost it. As I mentioned on the home page I don't go out to the tree to pick oranges very often, because I don't have slippers. Well that's not true. It's just such an ordeal to put something on my feet and go out there, you know? Why does the ground outside have to be so disgusting? The tree isn't that good looking either. But the oranges, the oranges are just fantastic.

gallery/pict2

Kiwi

 

Kiwis are alright. But you know everyone's just thinking "this frivilous fruit is taking the spot of a green fruit we care infinitely more about. So why don't we just cut to the fucking chase and get to what you're here for.

 

Lime

 

Limes have a lot of other fruit beat in terms of culinary usefulness. Lime juice is fucking important. It's a vital part of my favorite rice dish, and my favorite debatably alcoholic drink. But have you ever eaten a fucking Lime whole? No. Why the fuck would you? They're disgusting. Only useful as an ingredient. Just like me.

gallery/img2

Kanaya

 

I mean let's be real here. Like three people max care about her or Rosemary for their own benfit. Her major appeal is being an attractive lesbian. It's a little insulting, to say the least. She's not actually a cool person or a good friend. She's a jerk to everyone she knows, thinks she's better than all of her friends, and don't even get me started on the Vriska debacle. She did nothing right when it came to Vriska. Newsflash people, your friends aren't obligated to return your feelings, especially if you literally never even tell them. People think Eridan's disgusting for way less than Kanaya's done. But in her case it's #relatable. u_u

Worst fruit of all time.

Apple

 

Why are there so many kinds of apples? I mean fuck, no other fruit has this level of diversity. It's impressive. I'd appreciate it a little more if I could actually eat them.

 

I don't get why they have such a monopoly on pop culture though. They're in practically every fairy tale in one form or another. There's a tech company named after them. Apple juice is considered the juice, and apple sauce gets the same treatment. I mean, maybe I'm just a little bitter. I'm sure they have a lot going for them. It's not their fault my dentist was a useless sack of horse shit.

Lemon

 

I mentioned I'd never eat a Lime raw. Well, the same does not apply to lemons. They are fucking delicious. They have all the culinary benefits of limes, for the most part, but they're don't have the downsides of being bitter and wrinkled. And in addition to making any dish better, they taste pretty damn good on their own. I guess it's a little weird to eat lemons whole? I never see anyone else doing it. But man, they just taste so great.

 

Don't mix them with milk though. I can't have them in tea, because I only drink milk tea.

gallery/img5
gallery/img3
gallery/img1